Changing habits that we’ve carried for the years we’ve been alive is not the easiest task to take on. However we are often prompted to do so when certain habits we have are self sabotaging and push people we love away. If you are anything like me and find yourself in a frustrating cycle wishing you can just get it together by like tomorrow…. I have bad news…… it’s not possible.
We as people (I am people) put way too much pressure on the idea of changing. We rely on ourselves to make changes that involves unpacking trauma and recognizing our own faults in the reality that it’s simply way too much to take on by ourselves. When the expectation we set is not met we become burdened with a great deal of shame and hope begins to wither away. Let’s face it! Sometimes learning something about our character can be a big pill to swallow and i don’t know about you but it intimidates me! So I decide to stay in comfortability instead, BUT THEN I am still unhappy! My dreams and goals involve change and then crash! The shame hits me like a train, I become unhopeful and I’m back in my “I’m the worst person and I’m never going to change” cycle.
We see other people’s lives that seem more jollier than our own. Reality is, it probably isn’t! We try and measure up to things that are false or unrealistic expectations and we are faced with disappointment when we fail or can’t meet it. I can’t tell you how much I resented people who’s life just seemed easier. I had to try harder just to keep my emotions in check, and other people don’t. So I thought. It’s really all just a big lie!
I created this blog because I wanted to create a community of besties that shared the same struggles and to help each other because we aren’t alone! Although let’s be real, it’s incredibly easy to believe and feel like you are alone and nobody cares about your mental being or struggles. But it’s so far from the truth!!
Can I share a secret? I am struggling. I wanted to write a post about change because this topic has been pretty heavy on my heart. I’ve been frustrated lately because I feel like I’ve taken 20 steps back in the progress I’ve made. My patience is suddenly very thin, and I’ve become undisciplined in my emotions. Who am I to give tips? I am a hot mess!Then I remembered, I want to be authentic. I want to be genuine.
Truth is change is going to take a lifetime. Yes change is very much possible. I’m certainly not the same Priscilla I was 5 years ago. Quite frankly I hope 5 years from now I won’t be the same Priscilla I am today! Change certainly comes in due time. By then we might as well take our failures as lessons and accept that we WILL fail. However, new lessons are learned which will continue to shape us.
Until next time besties.
With love, Priscilla